The Black Dog is Lingering

Well as it turns out "niggles" can turn into full fledged injuries.  Runners are notorious for being pretty terrible at coping with the inability to run - I am no better.  As I sit here writing a good two weeks after the run where my knee finally said, "Hey, you really should stop running!"  In all fairness my knee had been complaining loudly for some time and I knew I was pushing it way too far... but I wanted to run.  I ran the mountain marathon knowing I shouldn't.  Two days later I couldn't take it anymore and absolutely had to go run.  That was the day I knew I was done for a while.  I have been resisting the overwhelming urge to run everyday since.

The Black Dog is an ancient symbol for depression.  I found this description online - "an ever-present companion, lurking in the shadows just out of sight, growling, vaguely menacing, always on the alert; sinister and unpredictable, capable of overwhelming you at any moment" (pretty interesting and worth a read).  My first major injury entering college was my first encounter with said black dog.  Since then I have always struggled to keep running in the proper balance with my life so as to never see the black dog again,  a contest which I have proven both good and bad at in various times.  The hardest part for me is a mix of the physical and spiritual joy I receive from running - the physical from endorphins and such, the spiritual from a deep connection I feel with God when I run.

The black dog lurks nearby, I can sense him - no, I smell him.  The article quoted above mentions at the end that the black dog ultimately is a companion that needs to be left behind.  He is a companion we cannot afford to keep.  It is not for me to bring the black dog in, give him a bath, and name him.  No!  I will remind myself of the other joys I have in life.  I will leave the black dog behind.  

My ultra running buddy +Benjamin Winrow has been exposing me to all sorts of wonderful running videos.  This video on Anna Frost really touched me.  Not only does it perfectly speak to this post but watching it was like glimpsing into my own past.  Her words strike not just one chord with my heart but echo almost perfectly exactly how I felt my freshman year of college when I was a broken runner.  Please take a moment to watch it as it will completely move you!

This is the link to her blog if you'd like to hear more about her running:
http://frostysfootsteps.wordpress.com/?blogsub=confirming#subscribe-blog